On a scale of 1-10, how much does your life suck? Is there a lot of suck in your life? If life had suck coupon cards would you be 9/10 of the way to a free lawn mower? Good, then you and I have something in common.

I’ve done a bunch of empirical research (read: repeating the same mistakes over and over again) on what to do when life gets shitty. It looks we have two options:

Option 1: The self centered egotistical entitled asshat

This option mostly revolves around abdicating responsibility for our destiny and blaming the rest of the world for our situation. We bitch about how we’re the victim, it’s not our fault, and life isn’t fair.

Honestly, I’ve tried this approach A LOT, and it’s precisely as helpful as replying to Nigerian Prince emails. Now, life is NOT fair, that part is true. But bitching about it didn’t fix a damn thing. So what about Option 2?

Option 2: The ambivalent opportunist

This option is basically Samwise the gamgee. Kind of a fugly hobbit who doesn’t give up. My bestie is getting hunted by demon wraiths? I only get supporting character role even though I’m doing all the work? I get stuck with hobbit lady while Aragorn is getting snockered with a cute elf? Aight, well I might as well save the universe anyway because I need to live here.

See that last part? Decidedly productive without any resentment for the cards dealt. That’s important. Like that’s the only part of this post to pay attention to (the rest is me allegorically and affably alliterating under the influence of greek white wine and Tool’s latest album on replay).  You really can take the piss out of life. You can decide to act in your best interest regardless of the cards life gives you. We should all be more like the fugly hobbit.

To be frank, any other option makes no sense at all. Like venting is probably good. It’s nice that we can let it all go once in a while. Good friends will listen and bad friends will put up with it if we buy them drinks. But there comes a point where that’s not helpful anymore. There comes a point where YOU HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN LIFE. There comes a point where no one is listening and you can either make your life better or choose stagnation.

Your turn

The jokes are over now. This is your life. Life is not fair and we don’t know what will happen when we die. But you’re here now. Life has given you some cards. Maybe they’re not the hand of cards you wanted, but it’s your hand. You can decide what to do with them. Maybe you’ll try to make the best of it just so you have a better tomorrow. Maybe you’ll decide to heal some old wounds just because they are there and you don’t want to limp anymore. Maybe you’ll make your life better for you and that’s the only reason you need.

I don’t know what’s best for you. I don’t know what pain you’ve been through. But I know that every adversity is a decision on what you want out of life. You can complain if you want to. Or you can make the best of these shitty cards in your hand. It sucks they aren’t better. But it’s up to you. You can do your best or you can bitch about it. What’s it gonna be?

Further Reading: If this post resonated with you I think you should read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. He’s basically calling himself out like this and it’s comforting to know even a Roman Emperor had to work on his insecurities, anxieties, and bitching about his problems too much. We’re not broken, we’re just human. Read what has helped people for 2000 years, my dear internet stranger, you don’t have to figure this out alone.