Can we just all agree that life kind of sucks right now? Can we start with that premise? And if your life is great right now then go climb a mountain or embrace your hot spouse or something, this post is not for you.

This post is to ground some people feeling hopeless like myself. It’s easy to look at present troubles and project them onto the entirety of the future. I do this a lot and honestly it’s pretty damaging. But there’s a counterbalance exercise that keeps me sane: taking stock of what present things you’ll miss later. So what does that mean?

Example 1: Dealing with loneliness

I am pretty lonely right now. I’m single, I don’t go on dates, and there’s a lot of times that I wish I had someone to hold or talk to or lean on. It’s hard.

But I also have some friends that are married with kids. They have different problems. They are not lonely, they actually wish they were alone more. I’m not saying their problems are better, but there will probably come a time where I will miss part of the life I have now. Not all of it, but I’ll miss all the free time and autonomy that the single life contains.

Example 2: Uncertainty early in your career

I’m also in my 20’s. As such, I don’t know where my career will go, where I’ll live, or many other things about my future. I have anxiety because I don’t know if I’m doing what I should be doing, and while I do have options it’s uncomfortable to never know if you’re doing the right thing.

Old people are in a different situation. There isn’t much uncertainty. They’re in pain most of the time, they know their best years are behind them, and they see the future with too much certainty – sadly they don’t have much future left. When I’m that age I’ll probably miss the abundance of time I have now (hopefully), even if it comes with some uncertainty.

Don’t glamorize the future just because you haven’t seen its problems yet

I’m not saying you don’t have terrible problems today. I am just saying you’ll have different problems later. With humans, the grass is always greener on the other side. We’re never 100% content. You’ll lose some of the benefits you enjoy now, and you’ll gain some problems that are now unknown to you. Don’t believe me? Look a few years back when you were pining for something you have now, and you thought it would complete you. How did that work out?

Can you use that as a counterbalance? Can you forecast into your future and imagine what you’ll miss about where you are now? Maybe you have youth or free time. Maybe you have access to still living grandparents. Maybe you have joints that let you hike for hours. But today is only here for a little while.

Embrace today while it’s here

Rolling around in self-pity for today’s problems doesn’t fix them. And someday I’ll be super pissed that I squandered my free time yesterday embracing negative emotions. I’ll be chasing crying babies, wishing I had time to mow the lawn and do my taxes and I’ll think “Why didn’t I just play video games and be selfish when I was 25 instead of feeling miserable and hating that I had all of this free time?!” Do you hate your commute? There’s a lot of overwhelmed parents who would trade an arm and a leg for 30 minutes of solitude and silence every day.

I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but I know for myself I feel an obligation to enjoy this time just so that I don’t regret it as much later. I’ll have other problems in the future. And that’s okay, but I want to regret my current decisions as little as possible when I get there. Your life is up to you. But please try to make decisions who won’t piss you off when you look back and no longer have the things you’re taking for granted now.

Further Reading: If this post resonated with you, I highly recommend 101 Essays To Change The Way You Think by Brianna Wiest. It’s really good at giving you alternate perspectives and wake up calls to course correct your life. On many issues like relationships, goals, and values, this book made me change priorities and always for the better. We all need wake up calls sometimes. All the essays are short so it’s easy to read and you might benefit more than you realize.