The ones who aren’t here anymore just want you to enjoy today. They’re not mad you haven’t lost those 5 or 50 pounds you planned to. They aren’t upset you got a bad grade or didn’t get the promotion or didn’t get into your dream school. The only thing they care about is you being happy.

Sometimes all we can see is our plans and what went wrong. But life is short and some things are more important than our plans. Think about someone you care about that’s not with us anymore, think about how much they loved you. On hard days when everything is falling apart, think about the compassion they would have for you, and the compassion they would want you to have for yourself.

You don’t have to be so hard on yourself. They wouldn’t want that. You can still follow their advice, even if they aren’t here to give it.