Are you upset that you keep missing goals you set for yourself? Are you angry that you keep repeating the same mistakes? Me too. That is basically breaking promises you made to yourself. It erodes self-worth, it makes you hate yourself, and it paints a damning picture of the future.

If you break enough promises to yourself then of course you feel helpless – the only person you can count on can’t be counted on (you!). The emotional bank account you have called “Trust in myself” has been overdrawn. Every goal seems impossible when you can’t count on yourself. 

The good news is, you can fill it back up by starting small. Set and keep small daily goals like making your bed, counting calories, daily exercise, and meditation. Keeping a promise makes a deposit in your account. And don’t discount the importance of small steps! How much do you trust yourself right now? How much confidence do you have that you’ll hit the targets you set for yourself? None? That’s because your account balance is negative. There’s no shame in setting small targets, and you have to start somewhere.

I bring this up because there was a time when I was horribly overdrawn. Every goal was a predestined failure, I had no faith in myself, and I had no hope for improvement. I was horribly depressed and I didn’t know how to fix it. It was an accountability buddy who suggested I scale things back that made the difference. I set my big goals to the side, started keeping small promises, and I worked my way up. I deposited $1 at a time in my “Trust Myself” bank account until it became positive again.

Getting back to a positive account balance is step 1. But I’m really writing to get you to step 10. After you do this for long enough, there are certain bucket list items you can work towards. There are things you’ve always said you want to do. Things that seem amazing to you and also seem very far away right now. I want you to know that keeping those big promises to yourself is one of the best feelings you’ll ever have. It doesn’t matter if it is owning a house, traveling to Europe, writing a book, or whatever makes your heart sing. Keeping big promises to myself is the single best feeling I’ve ever felt. I want you to understand that, because to get there you first have to keep small promises to yourself.

What’s hard to see now is how many doors that first bucket list item will open. You’re going to cross something off your list, climb a mountain or conquer an obstacle that always seemed so far away. You’re going to hold a trophy you never thought you would hold, then you’re going to recalibrate. You’re going to ask “what else can I do, since apparently I can do that?” Then other doors will open for you that you can’t even see right now. I can’t tell you where they will lead. I’m just some stranger on the internet. What I can say is that you need to start with small promises and work your way up to big ones. You can start as small as you like. But the best feelings you’ll ever have are keeping those promises and aiming higher and higher to find everything you’re capable of. 

If you don’t believe in yourself right now, it’s okay. I’ve been there too. Just start really small. The only mistake you can make is not trying, and I’m giving your permission to start as small as you want. But you have to start today. You want to feel good, don’t you? Here’s your ticket. I am showing you the path, but it’s up to you to take it.

Further Reading: If this resonated with you then I highly recommend Meditations by Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. If something has helped people for 2000 years it can probably help you too. It’s not wishy-washy self-improvement, either. It’s literally a Roman Emperor’s journal as he pep talked himself through life’s challenges, which are more similar to yours than you realize. It has made a world of difference for me, I hope it can help you too.