Just because you can make someone happy and be their everything doesn’t mean they can give you what you need too. This can be confusing at first, because it feels really good to be someone’s perfect fit…but that doesn’t mean they are yours.

Being the best partner someone else has ever had is nice for a while, but that won’t be enough for forever. You have needs too. And over time if your needs are not being met, it will bother you (and rightfully so). So think hard about what you need most from a partner. If you’re like me, it’s not something you typically ask for, just something you wish other people would magically do. Spoiler: magically, they never do. 

We have to start asking. And we have to keep looking until we find someone who can meet those needs and doesn’t resent us for asking. Both people in every relationship have needs. And if the only thing holding a relationship together is what you do for them, it’s not enough.

It’s okay for you to have needs. It’s okay to ask for them. And it’s okay to move on if they cannot or are unwilling to meet those needs. If so, the ship is already sinking. You can stay if you want, but you’ll need to find someone who can meet your needs if you want a ship that you can count on.

I don’t want to stay on a sinking ship. Do you?

Further Reading: If this post resonated with you, I highly recommend 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. The authors have tens of thousands of research hours with many couples, and they do a great job of outlining what habits make relationships fail as well as which ones make them succeed. I encourage you to read it if you’re tired of learning these things the hard way.