I woke up feeling like shit again today. I think I was upset that I’m turning 30 and my love life looks like Michael Bay directed it. Maybe I was fussy because I live on tacos and curry and for some reason, it hasn’t given me a six-pack yet. The exact cause is uncertain, but the point is my self-image was pretty dark.

Then it occurred to me that there are many ways to measure a human life. I’m a data nerd so of course, I started seeing line charts in my head. 

• The line chart for “number of mistakes repeated in my relationships” was trending down, thankfully. Still no happily-ever-after, but dud fireworks are better than dumpster fires, right?
• My current job is definitely better than my old one. Not perfect by any means, but that line is going in a good direction.
• The quality of friendships is slow but steady. I am too introverted to have tons of friends, but there are more good people in my life than there used to be, so I’m happy with that line.

Most parts of my life followed that pattern. There are imperfections everywhere and a lot that needs to be done of course, but the point is each line is showing progress in the right direction. Of course, I hadn’t reached fulfillment and nirvana, whatever that is, but if you wanted to print out all of these line charts and put them on a wall, it’s not a picture of gloom and doom.

More specifically, the average chart was very different from the chart of “how happy I feel on a given day.” That line is almost random, to be honest. There are lots of low days that are uncorrelated with the other lines. Good days too, of course, but my point is this is just one line chart. When you zoom out, the bigger picture is much more positive.

I just wanted to share this to remind people to look at the big picture of their own lives too. It’s easy to wake up feeling shitty and extrapolate that into “everything sucks and I’m a failure.” I do that a lot. But reviewing all the charts will show the truth. Small positive slopes are still positive, and how you feel at any given time is only one part of the data. Give yourself credit for what you’re doing right. The human brain is an incredibly complex machine and the dopamine/serotonin dispenser doesn’t always work as it should. 

As a closing note, these other line charts are a lot more actionable too. When I wake up feeling broken, I can’t really go to the store and buy emotional duct tape to put myself back together (don’t say cookie dough or Panda Express count, because I tried that already). The detailed line charts are different. If you’re unhappy with the trend of the career line, you can take baby steps to improve it. If the friendship chart last lost ground, then you can take baby steps to meet new people. Life is too important to paint with broad brush strokes, and the detailed charts can tell you what line to focus on and what steps might improve it.