Have you ever seen a cell phone tower? The really tall ones secured using tension wires? All the wires pull hard in different directions so that the tower stays perfectly centered. If you want to build something really tall, that’s one of the best ways to keep it balanced.

I don’t know about you, but I find that precarious tower getting pulled hard in lots of directions very relatable. My friends want more of my time for social stuff. My girlfriend wants more of my time for dates. Should I relax and see the big picture more? Or should obsess about details squeeze the juice out of each day? 

Saying yes to any of these means saying no to another, and saying no always feels like a failure to me. I feel like I can’t win, and there are not enough hours in the day to do everything asked of me. But that’s kind of like the cell phone tower. It has to be pulled in every direction to stay perfectly in the middle. Do you see where I’m going with this?

The best version of you is a compromise between many things that are important to you. Giving up on any of them would feel awful, and doing them all perfectly is not possible. You can’t give 100% of yourself to work, 100% to your hobbies, and 100% to your friends. There’s not that much of you. 

So let’s be real. Are you doing the absolute best you can? Do you want badly to succeed in all of these areas pulling you? Do you feel torn because you’re doing your best and yet there’s so much more you wish you had time to do? 

Breathe. Take a deep breath right now, and visualize that tower. You are balancing a lot of priorities right now, and you’re not lazy or dumb or broken because you can’t get it all done. You’re human. And the fact you’re giving your best to so many things is damned impressive. Stop thinking you’re doing something wrong just because you have to say no sometimes. Anyone would feel frazzled being pulled in so many directions.

Of course, sometimes we’re pulled in directions we don’t want to go. Maybe there’s a bad habit or toxic friend or toxic employer pulling you too hard in the wrong direction, and it’s time to cut them loose. But if everything pulling at you is important to you, then don’t hate yourself for balancing them as best you can. 

Sometimes getting a B or a C in most areas of your life is the best you can do. Putting all your time towards one A would drop something else to an F, and that’s not what you want. The cell phone tower doesn’t give in completely to any direction it is pulled in either, and that’s why it is so tall and stable. It’s okay if you do that too.

Tension doesn’t always mean failure. Sometimes it means balance.