What do you use to escape the pain? Alcohol? Video games for distraction? Sex to get lost in pleasure? Food delivery dopamine detour away from your problems?

Put it down. Not just because they are bad for you. Not just because of all the cliche reasons for drug and alcohol and food addiction. Put them down because you have no idea how bad things have gotten.

You’re like a hospital patient missing both legs and high as a kite on morphine. Things feel great because of the painkiller and you’re vibing but you have no idea that you’ll never walk again. You don’t know how close you are to losing everything. You’re in painkiller paradise and all these distractions are hiding the condition you’re in.

Listen, I’ve been the codependent dumbass escaping with food and drink. I’ve distracted myself from soul crushing jobs with vending machine snacks. I’ve gone on tons of disaster dates because it felt better than being alone. 

Those painkillers never fixed me. They never solved a problem. They never got me closer to a goal or made the pain go away. They just put a blindfold over my eyes for a few hours while my demons patiently waited outside the window. I tried so hard to get away from pain, when pain was telling me the house was on fire and I needed to escape.

I know it hurts. I know everything feels broken and I know facing it seems unbearable. But I want things to get better for you, and you are the only one that can make that happen. Painkillers aren’t going to get you there. Facing your demons will. Making hard decisions will. Sitting with difficult feelings and listening to the smoke alarm will tell you what change you need to make. I’m not saying it’s easy. And I’m not saying you can’t take rest days. But there’s a difference between catching your breath and blowing this chance to make things better.

Next time you reach for the bottle or the food delivery app or the drug or the booty call or whatever escape you use as a painkiller, be honest with yourself. Why does the easy path always beat out the right one? Why don’t you want a better life? If sitting with this pain is so unbearable why can’t you spend one day trying to fix this? The morning after an honest effort feels a lot better than the morning after painkillers, I can promise you that. 

It’s your life. I have made this mistake hundreds of times and I’m not pretending to have it all figured out. I just know that when I decide not to put on the blindfold, when I actually look out the window and see all the demons and pain and ugly terror that I usually run from…that can be incredibly motivating if you let it. Hiding is easy. Actually viewing the pain behind the painkiller is a really good way to see where you stand. You can’t find the path to your best life with your head in the sand. 

Put down the painkiller. Look your demons in the eyes. Let the fear and the pain come. Not to destroy you, but so you know what you’re up against and what you need to do. You don’t have to feel ready, but you need to face reality. You don’t have to feel brave, but you cannot hide. You can be terrified of failure and take one small step forward today. The most important and worthwhile things you’ll ever do are terrifying. They are demons you’ll never feel ready for. That’s okay. It’s facing them and trying your best that will teach you how to beat them. You don’t have to do it perfectly the first time. You don’t have to know the best way to do it or look good doing it. You just have to take off the blindfold and decide that hiding isn’t fixing anything. You have to sit with those uncomfortable feelings and listen to them about what changes need to be made. You have to face your demons and you have to do your best. Do not be afraid of failure. Your best is good enough, and it’s much much better than hiding. 

Put down the painkiller.