I’m the type of person who will eat all the yummy snacks in the house until they are gone. And if I have one drink I’m probably having 4. And if I play a game for 30 minutes that can quickly become 5 hours. Moderation doesn’t work for me.

I’m bringing this up because all-or-nothing is a personality trait for a lot of people, and complete abstinence from some things is completely healthy. I’ve seen a lot of people try to find the right amount of a self-destructive habit, and it just doesn’t work. The right amount of some things is zero.

Abstinence from some things is also much much easier than moderation. In my apartment, my fridge literally only has eggs, grilled chicken, veggies, and almond milk. That’s not willpower. I just ate all the junk food already and abstaining from buying more is easier than eating in moderation. One girl I dated had a candy bowl in her apartment, and eventually she just put Skittles and Starburst in there (the only kinds of candy I don’t like enough to binge eat when I came over). I’m pretty sure that relationship didn’t end because of the candy bowl incident, but it’s hard to be sure.

Anyway, I think it’s important to remind people that dropping a habit completely is an option, and if moderation has been difficult or impossible in the past, you should consider it. I compare it to having an apartment on a party street vs a quiet neighborhood. If you just have to walk downstairs to go out, you’ll probably do it pretty often. If it’s a hassle to go downtown, it’s less likely to happen frequently. 

Reconfigure your environment and schedule so the easy default choice is the healthy one. You don’t have to decide if two brownies per day is the right amount, or if one is better. Just make it zero unless you’re at a birthday party and stop thinking about it. The right answer is usually simple. Deliberation is us trying to justify what we already know is the wrong choice.

If we want good habits to stick, we should make them as easy as possible. Breaking a habit is kind of like creating one. It takes a bit of time for it to stick, but humans can adjust to anything. You just have to decide that moderation isn’t working anymore and remove all temptation and slippery slopes toward unwanted behavior.

Self-improvement is hard enough, don’t make it harder than it has to be.