Felt like shit yesterday, decided I would drink a bit and take a rest day. Then drinking led to fast food, which led to other escapism, which led to a whole lot of nothing. That’s not really a resume most people would feel proud of. One thing led to another, in a bad way.

So today I figured I would grab one tiny win. Like, really tiny. My goal was just 10 pushups. Going for a run or following a long yoga video are both too much right after a relapse. I can’t even get started with targets like that. But after I put my J Cole playlist on and got the first 10 push-ups in, then I kind of wanted to do squats too. Then I figured I could do a little plank just because it’s been a while. One thing led to another, in a good way.

The funny part is that I still haven’t really gotten much done today, but I feel completely different. Since I got my workout in, I want to eat healthier for lunch and not screw it up. I want to get some journaling done since I missed it yesterday. I want to do better, and that attitude feels a lot better than where I was yesterday.

Doing my best is helping me feel my best. Let’s be clear that I felt pretty foggy and gross an hour ago. I played on Reddit for a long time after I woke up, my apartment was a mess and it would have been pretty easy to slip back into the rut I started yesterday. But yesterday felt so shitty. My shirt was stretching because I had eaten so much. I was so out of it I couldn’t even find the True Facts animal videos I like to watch when I’m spacing out. It was that bad. The mood change only happened after that first good decision with the pushups. Emotion followed action, even though it all started with a small action.

I think most shame we feel amounts to “there was a goal that I had, and I didn’t amount to as much as I had hoped.” Our actions define us, and when you see a long day full of bad choices it hurts to see the path we chose. It’s like getting betrayed by someone we were depending on. We let ourselves down and we can’t take it back.

We can’t change the past, but we aren’t done creating our future yet either. We have today and we know what good days feel like. We have done our best before and we remember the satisfaction and pride and peace that came with that. We can have that again. It’s when we do our best that we feel our best. And you can start doing your best right now. Personally, I couldn’t handle another day of drifting. Maybe I recharged yesterday or maybe I was just hiding from goals that intimidated me. I’m not sure. But today my workout helped me feel better, and I want to keep that momentum going. 

All it takes is one good domino to start the chain reaction, but you have put away the bad dominos first. Want to feel better today? I think you know what actions will and won’t help you get there. Now it’s up to you.

Further Reading: Veteran readers will know how much I love the book Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod, but I have to give it a shout-out here for anyone who doesn’t know it. It’s a phenomenal book on habit formation, and how to make sure the first domino every day is a good one. This book completely changed my life, and even though I still fall off the wagon sometimes it’s thanks to this book that I know how to get back on.