I think you should spend more time talking to yourself. No, really. For one thing, it’s one of the only places you can find intelligent conversation. For another thing, it is a really good way to slow down and escape self-destructive spirals.

I’m describing what I fondly refer to as “Bad Decision Journals.” It’s just a few quick little notes I jot down whenever I’m stressed and dangerously close to binge eating or using some other unhealthy habit to escape my problems. Here’s an example from today’s Bad Decision Journal.

• Work is pretty stressful right now and I want to go eat some oatmeal cookies from the apartment snack bar. Maybe some cheez its too. A snickers wouldn’t hurt.
• This is definitely escapism, because 10 minutes later all my problems would still be there and I’d be 1000 calories fatter.
• I have done this before, and the results were pretty bad. I was annoyed that I had slipped on my goals, I was lethargic and less able to actually make progress at work, and I had to admit to my accountability buddy later that I relapsed on junk food.
• I am 100% confident that binge eating is not going to solve any problems. Just delay them, and delay my fitness goals too.
• As usual, I’m the only one putting pressure on myself at work. No one is yelling at me right now. There’s one big scary task that’s freaking me out and it’s scary but I won’t get fired if I can’t figure it out. I think I’m scared of looking dumb, but honestly I could ask for help if I need it.
• Sitting still is better than sliding backwards. Everyone who cares about me would want me to avoid doing things that I’ll be upset about later. They would want me to try to enjoy today in any way I can, work is not worth feeling miserable.
• I could meditate, go for a walk, clean my apartment, or do some mindless work that is less stressful. Maybe my subconscious will find an answer to the hard problems in the meantime. What I’m not going to do is binge eat and create regret and self-resentment.

As you can see, it’s not really a Bad Decision Journal. They usually start out with contemplating a bad decision, but once emotions are put into words and consequences examined, the picture is more clear. They typically follow this format:

1. Recognize and acknowledge emotional state and source of distress
2. Step back and ask if the story we are telling ourselves is true
3. Brainstorm what tools we have that could help us right now
4. Have self-compassion for the distress and take positive action

I highly recommend you take some quick notes like these next time you’re in a tough spot. Most of the time we know what the right answer is, but we get so caught up in stress or fear that reason doesn’t get a chance to chime in. It doesn’t have to be like this.

Putting thoughts on paper gives you a chance to decide if escapism is what you really want. Examine each tool or technique available to you before you do something you’ll regret. And with a little luck, maybe your Bad Decision Journal can actually be a Good Decision Journal.

Further Reading: If this post resonated with you, I think you’d get a lot out of Dr. Kristin Neff’s work on self compassion. Her books and website have great information and exercises on how to cultivate self awareness, respond to emotions in healthy ways, and stop being so hard on ourselves for the inescapable pains that come with being human. Her “5 minute self compassion break” is a great place to start and I hope her work can help you as much as it helped me.