A friend of mine told me they were transitioning and it was important to me that they know I would support them no matter what and they weren’t alone. I wrote this letter for them and I’m sharing it here in case anyone else needs to hear these words too.

Dear Avery,

We haven’t gotten to talk in a while, and I hope I get to see you soon. I have no idea how many uncertainties and hard conversations you have ahead of you, but it was important to me to reach out. 

We don’t get to choose the emotions we feel. We didn’t get to choose the bodies we were born into. We only get to choose our actions. And your actions say so much about you. They say how brave you are. They say how strong you are. And they say how you can do what’s important to you even when it’s terrifying. Don’t question your bravery just because you might feel frightened of the path ahead. Acting when you feel confident is easy. Acting when you feel fear is the bravest thing a human being can do. 

Most people are not that strong, and they spend their whole lives working jobs they hate and boxed in by everyone else’s fears and expectations. Avery, you are so much stronger than that. You do the important things right. You’re a good person and you’re doing everything you can to create the life that feels right for you. I miss you and I want nothing but happiness for you. 

Life is incredibly hard. Every single person is covered in scars and the best we can do is keep getting up when life knocks us on our ass. I spend quite a lot of time getting knocked on my ass, and it’s very uplifting to see how strong my favorite people are. Seeing you make the right decisions even when they are incredibly hard decisions is inspiring. Please know if you ever need to vent or talk or cry you can call me anytime – I care about you and support you and that’s never going to change.

Thank you for doing what is right for you – so many people care about you and all we want is for you to be happy.

Matthew