Sometimes people struggle with affirmations because they use awkward ideals instead of commitments to a path. I’m referring to affirmations like “I am a tiger” or “I am powerful,” or other statements that are more of a self-pep talk than an actionable plan. I have not found those to be successful in the past because they don’t feel genuine, and I’m not even sure what it means to act like a tiger. I don’t think HR would like that. On a good day tiger-talk might change how you feel for a few minutes, but they don’t impact the trajectory of the rest of your day. 

Much better are affirmations that make a promise you don’t want to break. What I mean by that are affirmations like 

• I invest my time and energy wisely
• I lean into good habits
• I don’t do things that I will regret later

All of these are statements that if you say them out loud when you know you were planning to break them later, it’s uncomfortable. It’s hard to say out loud to yourself that you invest your time wisely, when you know you’re going to go hang out with someone later that isn’t good for you, or who enables your worst behaviors. 

The real job of the affirmation is to remind you of your goals and your values so that each day you can steer your shit back on track if it’s headed in the wrong direction. The affirmation is supposed to remind you what your goal is and make you uncomfortable if you are not moving towards your goal. This is about accountability, it’s about being honest with ourselves, and it doesn’t feel nearly as ridiculous as saying “I am a tiger.” 

If you have not had luck with affirmations in the past, I think you should give it another try, and you should build affirmations that are simple statements about how you would act today if you were your best self. What verbs would describe your actions? What simple statements would get you closer to your goals? What statements would feel really uncomfortable if you knew you were about to repeat an old mistake that you keep making? 

An affirmation that describes your goal end state is not relatable from where we are now. An affirmation that makes a promise about what you’ll do today to get to your goal is accountability. Create affirmations that are promises you don’t want to break, and read them out loud every day.

Here’s a list of affirmations I use. Clearly this is a personal thing and everyone’s will be different but feel free to borrow some if they resonate:

• I am in charge of me
• I release the need for perfection
• I am mindful of how I self regular
• I understand that other peoples’ pain can allow them to grow
• I take responsibility for my actions, not those of others
• I make wise investments of time, energy, and people
• I leverage my investments wisely
• I lean into good habits