“You have an adorable little dog who loves you? AND HIS NAME IS GENGHIS KHAN?!”

“You explored Mexico for a month while working?? And you watched the Spanish version of Shrek with a cute Latina??”

If I could talk to Past Matthew from a few years ago, that is how I think he’d react. Note that my career, fitness, and travel goals are nowhere near where I’d like them to be, but the point is Past Matthew would still be delighted about the progress. My path through life has not been linear, but it has created meaningful progress and unforgettable memories. 

This blog is about paying due credit to those unexpected blessings. If all you ever think about is Plan A then you’ll spend a lot of time looking sadly in the mirror and saying “Nope, I’m not there yet.” Too many of my days have started out like that. I want less of them.

Life does not care about our plans. My plan was to kick ass on a big project at work and finally get the recognition I thought I deserved. I broke my back working nights and weekends. I gave up time with friends and family and stressed myself to the max. Then the project got canceled for reasons outside my control. You don’t get much recognition for being on canceled projects, by the way. Go figure. If I just compared myself to the plan, then honestly I failed. See why this doesn’t work?

But there were also victories I didn’t plan for. I befriended a Greek in NYC who later let me visit the Greek islands with her. I’ve written a few blogs that helped people get through dark moments I couldn’t imagine. On a whim, I went to a Buddhism meditation class that got me involved in a fantastic community and greatly enhanced my mindfulness and serenity. None of those were on my 5-year plan, but I think they all mattered more than the project at work.

I think Past You would be just as delighted to hear about some of the unexpected stories you’ve collected over the years. I’m sure you’ve made progress on some of your old goals too, but just think of the surprise and joy Past You would feel hearing about the twists and turns of your life. What a fun conversation that would be!

Don’t just measure yourself exclusively on the goals you set years ago. A lot has happened since then. And some of the best parts of life, things you should be most proud of, were things none of us could ever have predicted.

Further Reading: If this reflection resonated with you, you might also enjoy this piece I wrote. A lot of people did the absolute best they could on Plan A and it still didn’t work out, that’s no reason to hate ourselves. Be kind. Your best life is not reached by tearing yourself down everyday.