Author: Matthew Voss
-
Productively Miserable: Why Counting Wins Matters in Self-Improvement
“What parts of my life do I need to work on next? Now I can run 5 miles, but what about 10? What new talent or skill do I need to get to the next level in my career?” Sound familiar? I’ve been gung-ho about self-improvement for the better part of a decade now, and…
-
Advice Column: Growing Apart From Old Friends
Sometimes people ask for advice on Reddit, and I try to help. Sharing the question and my response here in case anyone else is going through something similar. I’m 20F, currently not in school and unemployed. I don’t know where to begin but I feel alone. I have friends but I feel alone around them.…
-
Support Letter for a Transgender Friend
A friend of mine told me they were transitioning and it was important to me that they know I would support them no matter what and they weren’t alone. I wrote this letter for them and I’m sharing it here in case anyone else needs to hear these words too. Dear Avery, We haven’t gotten…
-
You should use a Bad Decision Journal
I think you should spend more time talking to yourself. No, really. For one thing, it’s one of the only places you can find intelligent conversation. For another thing, it is a really good way to slow down and escape self-destructive spirals. I’m describing what I fondly refer to as “Bad Decision Journals.” It’s just…
-
I Know It Feels Like Everything Is Falling Apart. Here’s Your Ticket Out.
How long do you sit with your pain? Actually sit with it. Not numbing it with alcohol. Not distracting yourself with mindless dating app swiping, and not practicing mental monologues at those who have wronged you. Do you ever let yourself really feel the pain? Recently I was fuming that someone hadn’t kept me in…
-
Did Your Father Ever Tell You He Was Proud of You?
That question hurts different people for different reasons. Maybe he is emotionally cold, and words like “I love you” or “I’m proud of you” don’t touch his lips often. Maybe he had different ideas for where your life should go. Maybe he would say it if he could, but he died before he got the…
-
How to Write a Resume With Little Experience
Fear of rejection. Fear of interviews. Fear of change. There’s a lot of reasons writing resumes and job searching is terrifying for most people, especially early in their career. I have spent a lot of time interviewing, being interviewed, and workshopping resumes for many people in my network, so I hope the guidance below can…
-
You Won’t Feel Your Best Until You Do Your Best
Felt like shit yesterday, decided I would drink a bit and take a rest day. Then drinking led to fast food, which led to other escapism, which led to a whole lot of nothing. That’s not really a resume most people would feel proud of. One thing led to another, in a bad way. So…
-
Cautionary Tale About Seeking the Approval of Others
I got the most insulting compliment on my outfit today. A woman told me that she liked how my shirt fit, that it was a better cut than most other shirts she had seen me wear. The problem is, this shirt was really loose by my standards. I starved myself and worked out like a…
-
Don’t Mistake Escapism for Living in the Moment
The only woman who ever broke my heart lived completely in the moment. Or at least that’s how it seemed. She lived each day one second at a time, she never turned down a party, she took risks, and she never let an old plan get in the way of life’s spontaneous adventures. I thought…
-
Quitting Bad Habits Is Hard. Replacing Them Is Easier.
I tried to quit Reddit cold turkey once. Wanna guess how long that lasted? Less than a day. The same is true with quitting Snapchat, video games, and many other things. The problem I’ve found is that when you just subtract something, there’s an uncomfortable void remaining, and the silence is a siren call for…
-
Sometimes Moderation Does Not Work
I’m the type of person who will eat all the yummy snacks in the house until they are gone. And if I have one drink I’m probably having 4. And if I play a game for 30 minutes that can quickly become 5 hours. Moderation doesn’t work for me. I’m bringing this up because all-or-nothing…
-
Generational Progress: They Did the Best They Can, Now It’s Your Turn
Who here thinks their parents did a perfect job of raising them? No one? That’s weird. Okay, who wants to repeat all the same mistakes their parents made when raising their own children? Still nobody? Okay, we can unpack that. This concept is called Generational Progress. Maybe your grandmother beat her children because she never…
-
Put First Things First. The Unwatered Plants of Your Life Can’t Grow.
The strongest signal for “this book is telling me something I really need to learn” is kind of like when your pet poops somewhere they’re not supposed to. I literally feel like the book is taking my nose and rubbing it in my shame, saying “No Matthew! Bad Matthew! Stop making self-destructive decisions on the…
-
What Is Your Biggest Pain Point Right Now? When Did You Last Work on It?
Did you wake up with all the same stresses and worries that you had yesterday? Are you one step closer to your goal or are you in the same spot? I’ve been in that spot before. I keep a spreadsheet where I list my biggest worry every day, that way I can see patterns over…
Millennial Anxiety 