Author: Matthew Voss
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Three Reasons To Hold on When You’re Going Through Hell
It won’t last forever. You’ve had bad days followed by good days before. Think about another time when you were going through hell. How it seemed like the end of the world, how you didn’t know what to do, and yet you still got through it. You know life is like this from time to…
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What Changes Are You Resisting Right Now That Is Causing Suffering?
Let’s be concrete. When I’m in a failing relationship, it often feels like everything is broken. Friction when you spend time with them, anxiety when you think about the future with them, dreading doing things together. Honestly, this was life telling me that it wasn’t going to work out. There were many signals that the…
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Advice for Breaking Out of Mental Ruts
There are some painful feelings that don’t fade over time. It’s like you’re in a cave, and no matter what you do the dark thoughts just keep echoing and following you. Trite advice like “stop focusing on the negative” is unhelpful. Dark thoughts keep echoing in that cave even after you fall silent. I spent…
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Sometimes Closure Is Not What You Need
Sometimes you want to send a message to someone that you’re not with anymore. It doesn’t have to mean you want to get back with them. It might not even mean that you still like them at all. But there’s something you want them to know, or there’s something that you feel that you want…
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Your Dead Friend Wishes You Weren’t So Hard on Yourself
The ones who aren’t here anymore just want you to enjoy today. They’re not mad you haven’t lost those 5 or 50 pounds you planned to. They aren’t upset you got a bad grade or didn’t get the promotion or didn’t get into your dream school. The only thing they care about is you being…
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What Kind of Broken Do You Want To Be?
Do you wish you were doing better at work? Maybe you wish you were making time to workout regularly? Or more calls back home to Mom, or more walks with your dog at the park? More time reading that book you keep wanting to get to? Tell me what parts of you that you wish…
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Finding the Strength Behind Your Weakness
I overthink every social interaction, but that also makes me a considerate friend who people appreciate for being thoughtful. I get anxious when I don’t feel productive, but that also helps me accomplish more in 24 hours than a lot of people I know. Most of my weaknesses are the dark side of a two-sided…
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No One Else Noticed the Things You Thought Were Failures
This is just a reminder for all my little overthinkers out there. The awkward exchange with the cashier earlier today? The presentation where you forgot to say that one thing you wanted to say? The goal that took a week longer than you wanted? No one else thought it was a failure. No one was…
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Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone Is Healthy. Fighting Your Nature Is Not.
The world seems to glamorize the hyper-social risk taker who constantly takes leaps of faith. They don’t take rest days, they instantly befriend strangers, and they are so photogenic they barely seem human. I’m not like that. I’m an introvert, I get exhausted from too much time around strangers, and I love my friends but…
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The Dangers of Staying Too Long in the Wrong Job
Switching jobs is kind of like a bad breakup. Things aren’t great but you’re comfortable. Your friends talk about all the nice things their new boss does for them, how excited they are about the future, how appreciated they feel. Then you look back at your job. Your boss hasn’t said thank you the last…
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Becoming the Mentor I Needed Dad To Be
Hey Dad, I heard something neat on a podcast recently. Jim Collins said that he sought out interesting mentors because he never really had a Dad to look up to and mentor him. He said he found a lot of amazing people and it was kind of like he had a hundred dads, instead of…
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How Would You Feel if You Were Finally “Good Enough”?
What if you didn’t have to do the things you’re putting off right now? What if your job, weight, finances, and number of followers suddenly didn’t say anything about you? What if you were good enough and those were optional side quests but there was nothing “missing” about you that you needed to fix? I…
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How To Find Your Passion: Trial and Error Outside Your Comfort Zone
I’ve heard a lot of frustration recently over “I don’t have a passion for anything, or know how to find it.” Having interests and passions is an important part of a fulfilled life, so let’s talk about it. Clearly some people find their passions early in life, those are the lucky ones. Maybe their family…
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Irrational Core Beliefs: Your Old Crutches Make It Harder To Walk, Not Easier
Irrational core beliefs are conclusions about life that keep us from growing emotionally, usually projecting a few experiences far beyond their original context. A few examples are listed below: I should never burden others with my problems or fears. I do not deserve positive attention from others. I have so many problems, I might as…
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There Will Probably Be a Time That You Miss the Spot You’re In Now
Can we just all agree that life kind of sucks right now? Can we start with that premise? And if your life is great right now then go climb a mountain or embrace your hot spouse or something, this post is not for you. This post is to ground some people feeling hopeless like myself.…
Millennial Anxiety 