Author: Matthew Voss
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Productivity Maxim: Small Is Easy, Easy Is Consistent, Consistency Is Everything
The problem with big goals is that they’re foggy. Knowing where to start is hard. Seeing progress is hard. Finishing them is even harder. Do you have big projects like writing a book or losing 50 pounds or changing career fields that you’ve been meaning to start for months or years? Do they feel overwhelming…
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What You Fear Most Is What You Most Need To Do
Want to know a dirty secret of self-improvement? You already know what you need to do. Reading books and going to seminars is expensive procrastination. We all know what we need to do, but it’s hard and scary. I’m writing this partially as a reminder to myself, and partially as a wake-up call to you.…
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“Easy Choices, Hard Life. Hard Choices, Easy Life.” – Jerzy Gregorek
You know what you need to do, how long will you put this off? How life has your life become? I want the best for you, but you’ve decided over and over again to avoid the problem and keep carrying this burden. Avoiding hard choices means staying in our comfort zone. It means you’d rather…
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It’s Not Scary Because It’s Hard, It’s Scary Because It’s Unfamiliar. Learn the Difference.
Some things are scary because they are hard. Finishing a giant project in one night and running from a grizzly bear are examples. Fear in those situations makes sense, and it is a totally justifiable response. We know that there is difficulty, risk, or danger and we understand the worst case scenario. But some things…
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How To Build Communication Skills, Meaningful Relationships, and Social Confidence
Meeting new people? Scary. Reaching out to old friends? Awkward. Staying isolated and alone? Feels terrible. I see a lot of people asking for help on these, so here’s all the best advice I’ve found. Genuine Curiosity In Others Insecurity/anxiety in conversation usually comes from thinking about yourself and worrying what other people will think.…
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Think of Your Mind Like an Old City
Cities are rarely designed with every detail of the future known and accounted for. Roads are built, utilities are set up, and stores laid out using the best that is known at the time, with the purposes and goals known at the time. Of course, requirements change. Larger roads are needed, buildings fall out of…
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Find Selfish Reasons To Do the Right Thing. Those Reasons Will Never Fail You.
Exercising to be healthy doesn’t get me out of bed. Getting fit so I can catch a fit girlfriend does. Building friendships because of the warm fuzzies doesn’t do it for me either. But I absolutely hate depression spirals and anxiety, and that happens less when I get the right amount of quality time with…
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Stop Stealing Other People’s Bullshit
Worried about a mistake someone else is making? Frustrated because you know what’s best and no one will listen? That’s not your bullshit. That’s their bullshit. They are making their mistakes, learning their lessons the hard way, and it’s their life not yours. Don’t steal their bullshit. I’m not really yelling at you. I’m just…
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Want Fewer People Living in Your Head Rent-Free? Visualize Giving Them Money
I was winning quite the mental argument this morning. I do this with my evil coworker frequently – let’s call him Mr. Asshole. I rehearsed speeches proving the disaster at work wasn’t my fault. I thought about the clever insults I could use to make the other guy look bad. I even imagined myself taking…
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Give Your Pain a Job
Feeling depressed when you’re on vacation is incredibly annoying. You’re not at work, you’re eating good food and you feel obligated to be enjoying yourself, since this is the “good part” of life. But anxiety and depression don’t really take days off. So then you’re crying on the beach with a $15 margarita wondering why…
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You Still Have Time To Make Good Decisions Today
It’s okay if today was a shit day. Even if people were rude or inconsiderate. Even if things didn’t go how you wanted. Even if you handled things poorly or treated someone else poorly. You still have time to make good decisions today. What I mean by that is that the game clock never really…
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If you’re stressing yourself out with self improvement, you’re doing it wrong
It’s ridiculous that self-improvement can sometimes make us feel worse about ourselves, but here we are. You’re reading this because you relate, and I wrote it because it happened to me. Let’s talk about a better way. Experiment. Take small bites. Try things. But always use the lens of “is this helping me enjoy life…
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Play Games You Can Win
I think maybe you’re putting off some of your goals because they are scary or intimidating. You feel like you’ll fail so you don’t want to start. Can I tell you my strategy? I play games I can win. That doesn’t mean I only do easy things in my comfort zone, but anytime I notice…
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What I Learned From Each of My Exes
Every relationship is a learning experience. The ones that don’t work out teach you as much as the ones that do, sometimes more. Here’s what I’ve learned from relationships so far. #1 – Codependency Maximus When everyone tells you a relationship is a bad idea, they’re probably right. Saving someone is not the same as…
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What Would You Do if You Didn’t Suck?
I scrolled through reddit so much today my eyes ached. I stress-ate Indian samosas because work was stressful, and then I drank a bottle of wine to top it off. I am now considering ordering enough Taco Bell delivery to commit biological warfare and figured I should at least give the angel on my shoulder…
Millennial Anxiety 