Category: Rants
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What Would You Aim for if Happiness Wasn’t an Option?
Most of us wish we had lives like the “put together” people we know. They have the things we want, they don’t have our problems, and we assume their lives must be perfect. We idolize and envy and daydream about a life in that 24/7 content, joyful, and pleasant paradise. Why can’t that be us?…
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Reframing Childhood Trauma as an Adult: Stop Hating Old Life Jackets
Something clicked for me today. I know I’m an overthinker, I know I analyze everything, I know I’m kind of a control freak, always thinking about worst case scenarios. I’m always trying to do everything perfectly and I’m pretty intense about a lot of things. These seemed like separate personality traits though, only recently did…
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Compliments From Yesteryear
“You have an adorable little dog who loves you? AND HIS NAME IS GENGHIS KHAN?!” “You explored Mexico for a month while working?? And you watched the Spanish version of Shrek with a cute Latina??” If I could talk to Past Matthew from a few years ago, that is how I think he’d react. Note…
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Writing “NO CANDY” on My Hands Looks Dumb but It Works
Here’s a list of weight loss strategies that didn’t work for me: Mediterranean diet, running, fasting, weight loss bets, accountability systems, CICO, salads, low fat, high fat, meal prep, Ben and Jerry’s diet. The last one is not recommended by most doctors but I tried it anyway, no luck. Here’s what did work for me:…
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Dear Anxious Thought
You told me the world was going to end today, just like you did yesterday. You told me I said the wrong thing, made the wrong joke, said too much, said too little, acted too eager, acted too cold, should have taken a day off, that I take too many days off. I can’t remember…
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You Won’t Feel Your Best Until You Do Your Best
Felt like shit yesterday, decided I would drink a bit and take a rest day. Then drinking led to fast food, which led to other escapism, which led to a whole lot of nothing. That’s not really a resume most people would feel proud of. One thing led to another, in a bad way. So…
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Quitting Bad Habits Is Hard. Replacing Them Is Easier.
I tried to quit Reddit cold turkey once. Wanna guess how long that lasted? Less than a day. The same is true with quitting Snapchat, video games, and many other things. The problem I’ve found is that when you just subtract something, there’s an uncomfortable void remaining, and the silence is a siren call for…
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Sometimes Moderation Does Not Work
I’m the type of person who will eat all the yummy snacks in the house until they are gone. And if I have one drink I’m probably having 4. And if I play a game for 30 minutes that can quickly become 5 hours. Moderation doesn’t work for me. I’m bringing this up because all-or-nothing…
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Everything Is Hard, but What’s Worth the Effort?
Being in a relationship is hard. Being alone is hard. Improving yourself is hard. Feeling stagnant is hard. Excelling at a job you’re passionate about is hard. Drifting through a job you hate is hard. Choose the path you’ll be proud you took later. It’s all hard anyway. The part of this that makes me…
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Why I Write
I’ve chased the wrong things in relationships that lasted too long. I’ve cut myself to shreds putting other people’s wants before my own needs. I’ve seen countless people I care about lost in painful loops when the advice they needed was available in a book no one gave them. The human experience is having people…
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Your Self Image Needs a Bigger Sample Size
A thought experiment occurred to me: Pick 6 people who know you best, and summarize things they’ve said about you into a paragraph. Write another paragraph of how you view yourself. How different does it look from the others? Let’s find out, here’s my results. J’s thoughts W’s thoughts W’s thoughts R’s thoughts J’s thoughts…
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I Want To Look Like a Greek God, but That’s Not What Greek Goddesses Like
I don’t feel envy often, but damn did I envy this muscular Greek man in his little bathing suit. He had the six-pack I’ve been failing to get for years, the tan, the confidence to wear that swimsuit. Meanwhile, I’m so insecure about my body that I cross my arms when sitting in beach chairs…
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Winning Does Not Look Like You Think It Does
Don’t visualize “winning” as standing at a finish line with a trophy. It’s not the last step of a race and it’s not the last penny of some financial goal of yours. That is bad mental framing because they are singular events that don’t happen often. I think you should think about “winning” using a…
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Learn to Find the Sweet in Bittersweet
Attempting and learning new things is important, but that means failing sometimes. Trying new social situations and meeting new people is important, but that sometimes means feeling awkward, uncertain, anxious. Setting and working on goals is important, but that can also mean feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Learning better ways to do things is important, but…
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You Aren’t Doing Worse Than Everyone Else, Their Problems Just Look Farther Away
The CEO of your company is heartbroken that his kids don’t call on fathers’ day. The woman in front of you in the check-out line thinks she’s a failure because she isn’t who her mom expected her to be, even though her job pays the bills and makes her happy. Your parents can’t admit it,…
Millennial Anxiety 