That title is a journal prompt that can bring up some painful but important truths. Not surface level “I still haven’t hit my weight loss goal” or “my bucket list looks the same as it did 5 years ago” stuff. I’m talking about things like:

• ”Most jobs would be as good or better than the one I have now. I am only staying because I’m scared of the unknown.”
• ”It’s not my friends’ or family’s fault that I eat a lot when I’m with them. I use other people as an excuse to make bad decisions and that’s wrong.”
• “I drink or watch porn every single day, often triggered as an escape from stress or anxiety. I have an addiction.”
• ”Wasting time with exes or friends with benefits won’t help me find my future long term partner.”
• ”There will be no perfect time to take my dream vacation, and I’m putting it off because I’m scared. I should just book it and fit the rest of my life around it.”
• ”I am not going to grow in meaningful ways until I get out of my comfort zone.”
• ”You don’t have to change yourself to be good enough for your future wife/husband. You are using self improvement as a procrastination tactic because actually trying to find them and failing terrifies you.”

These are just examples, and I encourage you to think through what things you refuse to admit to yourself. What are painful statements that have a fair amount of evidence – even if you don’t want them to be true? Or, what changes could improve your life if only you found the conviction to make them?

This exercise is not about immediately “fixing” everything about yourself. It’s just about inspecting the mirror through which we see ourselves. Are there cracks you usually pretend don’t exist?

I had spent months bouncing between hookups, exes, and other romantic distractions before admitting it was a waste of time. Did it feel better than being alone? I guess. Was it getting me closer to the serious, committed, growth-oriented relationship I wanted? Absolutely not. Once I admitted that, blocking a few numbers and uninstalling a few apps was easy. But it had to start with facing the harsh truth that I had been denying.

Addressing these truths doesn’t feel good, but how much emotional tax do you pay each day for leaving them unresolved? How often do you hate yourself because of unhealthy addictions or habits? How much time have you spent in a rut because you won’t admit that this isn’t working? How many times have you repeated the same mistake?

You’re not broken, you’re not alone, and I promise you many people are running from the same harsh truths you are. But we have to admit our leg is broken to get it fixed. Until then, we’ll get much less out of life limping through each day. I want more for you than that. Don’t you?

Further Reading: If this post resonated with you then I highly recommend The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. It has helped millions of people review and renovate their lives, and it will walk you through the process with structured exercises. That includes itemizing what is and isn’t in your control, learning where our identity should and shouldn’t come from, and focusing time on what really matters instead of letting it slip through the cracks.