A relationship ending because two people cannot be happy together is not failure. Ending the relationship because they want different things, or because both people’s needs cannot be met isn’t failure – it’s actually progress. That’s facing the reality that the relationship can’t work and moving on. 

Failure is a relationship continuing to exist when it’s obvious it’s not working. Failure is lying to someone that things are okay when they’re not. Failure is pretending things can be fixed because you don’t want to rip off the bandaid and be alone. 

It’s dishonest and cruel to waste someone’s time just because you see it as a personal failure that the relationship is ending. They can’t get that time back, and neither can you. If it is obvious to you that the relationship cannot work, then the only true success is being honest with them about that so they can find something that will make them happy, and you can too.

It’s not a failure that this love experiment didn’t play out the way you wanted. You had to try it to find out. The only failure is deciding to continue this dysfunctional experiment now that you know better. True failure is not making a mistake but repeating it. True progress is learning from mistakes and changing course accordingly. That’s the only way to learn and you shouldn’t feel shame that a different direction makes sense now that you know more.

Don’t waste people’s time, and don’t waste your own. Don’t further delay their journey towards something that actually will work out. That is a far worse crime than ripping off this bandaid.